023: Getting by With a Little Help From My Friends

by John Bukenas on October 7, 2013


In this episode I will be talking about drawing strength and motivation from others.I Get By With a Little Help From My Friends

And I have a Health Coach.  And you know me, I turned a coaching call into an interview with my health coach Nancy Walters.  And I’m excited to introduce her to you.

Well like I said I have a health coach Nancy Walters.  Nancy completely transformed her life.  Nancy lost 90 pounds and is one of the most amazing women I have ever met.  Nancy has an internal strength and drive that amazes me.  Honestly, Nancy is a bad ass.  And Nancy knows “The Struggle.” nancy has successfully made the journey, and reclaimed her life   Nancy gave up her career and went back to school to study about health and nutrition and now Nancy wants to help others reclaim their lives.

One of the things Nancy does is check my food diary on My Fitness Pal.  Well I wasn’t as diligent as I should be in logging my food.  Nancy and I go into it in more detail in our talk later in the episode but what it boils down to is honesty.

You have to be honest with yourself.  Because, that’s where the answers are.

I’ve talked about this before in earlier episodes but “Why” is one of the simplest and most powerful questions.  Why wasn’t I logging my food?  It was because I didn’t want others to know what I was eating.  Plain and simple, but for the coaching to work I need to be honest.  If I’m not honest then I’m wasting my time and worse, I’m wasting Nancy’s time.

So I made a simple post on my profile wall over on My Fitness Pal.

“Well I made a promise to log ALL food that I eat. Even those cookies I ate at 3:00am when I was looking and no one was looking. It’s not the same as a tree falling in the woods. If you eat and no one is around…. The calories still count. <sigh> New Day, new way, let’s try this again!”

I honestly just wrote that for myself.  To remind myself that it all counts.  And something wonderful happened.

Let me back up here for a second.

I have not been posting and replying to my friends over at My Fitness Pal for awhile, for months.  I thought most of them would have kicked me to the curb and unfriended me. So I really didn’t expect a response from anyone.

Boy was I wrong!

LosinItAll2012 I’m a closet eater as well John… and yep, unfortunately those darn calories do count!! Be honest to yourself… log everything… I try… but don’t always keep up. We both know consistency is the key… We can do this John!!!

Mommadibo John I just wanted to say that I am also a late night snacker and yes those calories sure do count but at least they made it to the paper and thats all that matter cause you can now move on and remember to be honest and ask yourself “is it really worth it …I am gonna have to write this down!!” have a good day!! stay with it and I am trying to take a minute before I put something in my mouth I ask if I am sure I wouldn’t rather have a glass of water! lol

greekygirl Yes, I totally understand….I used to trick myself into thinking that it didn’t count when my office mate is out…how silly! I made a pact with a friend to finish logging and complete my diary daily NO MATTER WHAT. Sometimes it’s hard to do when I have a 3000+ calorie day but I do it anyway. It helps me stay in reality and get back on track. October starts our fourth month in a row completing our diaries, no matter what. Just keep trying, that’s what I do…never give up!

sistersyd I ate a whole bowl of ice cream last night before I even knew what was happening… But log-and-learn, right? It helps me figure out patterns and triggers and to plan for it. Be honest with yourself, but use the info – don’t abuse yourself with it (not that I could tell from your status).

IMYarnCraz33 i know the feeling… i have not been logging everything lately (naughty me).

I was blown away by the responses.  It really helped me.  One because I knew I wasn’t alone and two that they saw I was struggling and they took the time to send me some encouragement.

 I have to say I felt like a Dufus.

I’m worried that I would be ridiculed and criticized for my failures and these wonderful people were there to pick me up in my time of need.  I don’t know them in real life.  But I do consider them friends and I know that I would do the same for them.

So it made me think and I went back and wrote something else on my My Fitness Pal news feed.

 “What would you do if I fell off my plan

would you turn your back on me?

Well lend me your ear and I will sing you a song and I will try not to sing out of key.

I get by with a little help from my friends

I will keep trying with a little help from my friends

I’m gonna fly with a little help from my friends.

This is such an ugly, lonely, desperate condition we are trying to recover from and we really can’t do it alone. Thank you my friends for your support. You keep me coming back. You keep me from giving up. I’m grateful to all of you!!! When you need a hand. Reach out, we are here for you too.”

This is an ugly, lonely, desperate condition and it haunts us.  This condition thrives on loneliness and self doubt.  This condition loves darkness.

So I say lets not give this condition what it needs to survive.

If you are listening to me and think you are alone and no one understands what you are going through you are wrong!

We have been told we are weak, we are lazy, we lack willpower and self discipline and I’m here to tell you that is a lie.

But I’m also here to tell you that we are different from the others.  We have a issues that those who condemn us just don’t understand.

But I understand, and you understand.  And there are a bunch of others who understand.

This show has changed, and continues to change the way I view myself, this condition, and the world.

Can I overcome all my issues alone?  I’m not sure if I could, but here’s the best part.  I don’t have to find out.

Because I get by with a little help from my friends!  You want friends?  Friends who know what you are going through?  Friends who won’t judge and criticize?   Come join the Let’s Reverse Obesity Private Facebook Group.  It’s free, it’s private, and you can come draw courage, strength, and motivation from others.  You are not alone.

All you need to do is send me your Facebook Id or friend request me and I will be happy to add you to the group. Don’t know how to do all that?  just send me an email at john@letsreverseobesity.com and together we will get you in the group.

Nancy Walters my Health CoachCircle of life

Here is my filled out Circle of Life graph.  The crazy part, this is an upgrade from a few months ago, but I am on the up swing!

Please check out Nancy’s Website

Check out Nancy’s Sugar Blues Workshop


If you haven’t already, please be sure to go to iTunes to subscribe to the show. Don’t forget to leave us a rating & review! Your review will help others find the show. Thanks!

Right now I have 29 reviews in iTunes I’d like to share some that came in since the last show.

EMT 76 who I think is Ingrid wrote:

John speaks the truth on many levels. He is supportive with his Facebook Group and My Fitness Pal. His Podcast has a lot of good information and his humor makes you want to keep listening.

Laura Elise wrote:

Very real! Great info and encouragement!

Annek 113 wrote:

John is honest about his struggle to get healthy and in sharing his struggle he’s helping us as well. You’re amazing John. Want to hear more of you. Keep up the good work.

Late Foley Wrote:

This podcast is great. John’s voice is easy to listen to and he has good things to say. Having titles that give a clue to the content of each episode is helpful too.

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Thank you for taking this journey with me.  I love it when you reach out and share your journey with me.  And If you haven’t, I just have one question, why not?  Please continue to take positive steps to take back your life.

 Legal Disclosure:

Let’s Reverse Obesity.com and the Let’s Reverse Obesity Podcast are meant for informational purposes and do not constitute medical, nutritional, dietary, therapeutic, or any other advice. Any information on this site or in the podcast reflects John’s or his guests views and experiences only. You should always consult with a medical doctor, nurse, or other certified health professional before starting any diet, exercise, or any kind of health plan.


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